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Shit So Far

by Teenage Wasteland

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1.
Am I in love or am I drunk thinking of you? I’m letting down the ones that build me up the most. I’m all alone surrounded by all of my closest friends. I won’t see them again till the summer I bet against the fact that I could still love them. I’m living now. Day by day. Drink by drink. You’re living now and tomorrow forever. See what I meant when I said I wasn’t the best boy that you could have wasted your time with? You wanted me and I thought of you naked. I knew it was love because you took off your shirt. You came alone to my state and you met all my friends. And you took enough pills to fall asleep. God, I was wrong. God, I was wrong. God, was I wrong about you. You met my mom and I lied all about you. How we met, your age, and how your brain worked. We clearly loved one another just as long as the bottle hidden inside of your purse was full. At one point, I believed this was working. I didn’t need to be near you at all. I got to party with friends and keep open loose ends while you overdosed in your best friends basement. and I wouldn’t find out till the weekend. when you’d tell me I was never your boyfriend. You’re better now. You’ve got a job and found some friends. You’re better now. You got a man and got sober. You’re better now. You’ve got it all that you ever wanted. The things that I never would give you. You haven’t touched a drink in a year now. The thought of booze makes your stomach turn. The smell of my breath turns you away. I guess I’ll just drink.
2.
Bloody fingers say I may not ever get too far away from you. Meeting with you in a burnt out city feels I’m alone in changing myself. Maybe someday I’ll never think of you and maybe someday I will be alright. Come and see me soon. I’ll take good care of you. You’ll make me feel like I belong all night. You’re the only one I’ll never see myself just getting over. Or getting you for life. You can keep your glass eye, your pins, and all the stupid jewelry that I figured you would like. Keep me quiet and I’ll love you more and more. I swear that I’m not fucking around.
3.
I'm Goin' 01:58
Take me down Back to the ground. What else could keep me here Slowly dying? Why am I So scared of hell? Is that what only keeps me here Scared and confused. Oh my brother don't you cry. Pour yourself a drink of something strong. Touch my skin and make me shine. Hold my head back while I take one last look at you. And tear myself back to the soil.
4.
Temple Child 05:04
ll never be patient. and I'll never be fine. and I'll never be lonesome Because You'll always be mine. When You taught in the temple at the small age of twelve. You covered every aspect of my crooked life as well. Oh, but I'm so scared. I can hardly speak anymore. Not that I could before. Oh, and I'm so blind I can hardly see anymore. But you've seen this before. Now, Job was so blameless. Never turned you away. Though his life turned to turmoil he just said "the lord gives and takes away Oh, but I'm so scared I can hardly speak anymore. Not that I could before. Oh, but I'm so blind I can hardly see anymore. But You've see this before. And I'll try to be patient. and I'll try to be pure. But I just stand in the way of every open door. and I'll try to be blameless. and I'll try to be Yours. But what else it rebellion ever good for?
5.
7 Months Ago 05:05
You promised me everything was for the best and yet you lied. Sometimes things just happen. Now I question every little thing that happens to me. Why can't I just be set free. Don't you know that I can't feel something if it's not there. "Can you feel anything at all?" Don't ever say those words to me again. I feel more pain than you can imagine. I'm broken again. This keeps on happening. I'm broken, you see? Please come home to me! Seven months ago, I met you in the place that haunts me still, yet I keep on going back. You are the one thing that seems to give me joy yet you're the one that causes all my pain. Every time I fail, it's exactly like the last. Why do i try? Will I always be a mess? If you come near me, I think I'll be alright but that won't happen, so I'll call it a night. I'm broken again. This keeps on happening. I'm broken, you see? Please come home to me! If you think that I'm fine. I'm not yet Fully out of my mind. Place your bets On who the next one I hurt is going to be.
6.
Exposed 05:44
You say I never try But I always try Try to make you hate me. You say I'll never die But I hope I die. The sooner the better. You say I always lie. Well I sometimes lie. But never to your face. You say that we can fly. But we never fly. Stop being so confusing. Everything that I want to change comes hailing back at me. Everytime that I've ever loved Something's gone wrong in spite of me or because of me. You say I'll be set free. Will I be set free? Or are those just some kind words? You say i have a choice. Do I have a choice? Or is this just a prison? You tried to make it better I tried to make it better but can you make it better? Can I make it better? "Don't you lie! Don't you lie this time!" (I wont lie. I wont lie. I wont lie. This time) I showed her my body but you knew that. And by her I mean everyone but you knew that. The prison can be broken but you knew that. I can be forgiven but you knew that.
7.

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released August 8, 2016

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